Tool: Intentional mindsets
Having increased your awareness of your mindsets, you can be more intentional with them and improve how you impact and relate to others.
Changing your mindset requires you to first uncover your current mindset.
How to change a mindset
1. Identify your thinking
The first step is to identify what you are thinking about this situation. Your thoughts and beliefs may be subconscious, so ask yourself these questions to begin to uncover them:
- What was I thinking about the other person or the situation?
- What was I trying to convey to others?
For example, Rishi might realise that he thinks: “I am smarter than them and they should listen to me."
2. Uncover your beliefs
When you have identified your thoughts, keep asking yourself “why do I think that?” until you find something that feels like a truth to you.
Remember that something that feels like fact to you, might really be a belief.
For example, Rishi might realise that he believes: “I am better than others” and “they are too proud to listen to me”.
3. Consider the impact
Take a moment to accept that this truth is, in fact, only a belief. Consider how this belief or way of thinking may have helped you be successful in the past. Be grateful for that and consider that you can still change it.
Are you willing to change?
For example, Rishi realises that his belief of being better than others helps him feel confident and be successful. He decides he wants to have a different impact so he will consider other options.
4. Choose an alternative
If your answer is 'yes' and you are willing to change, consider another way to think about the situation. Consciously choose this alternative way of thinking from now on.
For example, Rishi’s new thought pattern is, “I can be generous in sharing knowledge with others who don’t yet know what I know”.
Another example of changing a mindset
Ken noticed that he was always critical of himself. When he looked at why, he found that he was holding this belief:
"I should be as good as the people around me."
Even though those people around him were experts with many more years of experience.
With a little reflection, Ken realised that a new mindset would serve him better and he chose:
“I can learn from others, but I can only do what I know how to do here and now.”
This was a life-changing shift for Ken. He was much less stressed and that helped him sleep better, he was more able to ask for help and actually learn from those experts.
Put it into practice
Have a go at changing one of your own mindsets. Bring to mind a situation or relationship that you would like to improve. Then follow these four steps:
1. Identify your current thinking
2. Uncover your beliefs by asking "why do I think that?"
3. Appreciate your belief and decide if you wish to change it
4. Choose an alternative way to think
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