Tool: Be SAFE & Certain
Once you understand the threat/reward responses from the limbic system, you will start to notice just how powerful they are at driving your behaviour and the behaviour of those around you.
In its effort to keep you safe, the limbic system is constantly monitoring social interactions, watching for potential opportunities for and threats to your survival.
The more aware you become of your brain doing this, the more you can intercept your reactions. The Be SAFE & Certain model can help you understand where these reactions come from.
Do I have a preference for Belonging?
If you have a preference for Belonging, you have a desire to feel part of a group, team or tribe. To get a dopamine reward, it's likely that you will:
- create a sense of team spirit with your team
- invest in relationships
- prefer harmony and you will strive for peace in your relationsips
Does that sound familiar?
What if my sense of Belonging is threatened?
When you experience a threat to your sense of Belonging you may feel:
- rejected, abandoned or left out
- a need to get back into the tribe
- nervous around people who may have the power to reject or accept you
The limbic system guides you to avoid danger by using threat responses, so to meet your need for Belonging, your limbic system may encourage you to:
- avoid a difficult conversation; this may lead to misunderstandings being left to fester
- avoid giving feedback or delivering bad news
- continue hanging around people who aren't necessarily good for you or stay with a project or at a company longer that you should; you feel that belonging to something unpleasant is better than not belonging at all
- be manipulated by someone influential; you might do something you do not feel good about if they imply that you will then belong to their club; your need to belong will overpower any rational sense you have about good or bad and you follow through with the hope that you will become a part of that tribe
If you notice yourself in any of these situations, this may be because your limbic system craves Belonging.
Do I have a preference for Status?
With a preference for Status and to get a dopamine reward, it is likely that you will:
- want to clearly know your role and responsibilities - and help others know theirs
- you will be proud of your contributions and want to be seen as contributing successfully
- strive to do a good job
- aspire to a greater position
Does that sound familiar?
What if my sense of Status is threatened?
When you experience a threat to your sense of Status you may feel:
- competitive or envious of others and their position
- frustrated that others don't understand what you have contributed to a project
- that you are never enough, or you never have enough
- that you don’t deserve your position
The limbic system guides you to avoid danger by using threat responses, so to meet your need for Status, your limbic system may encourage you to:
- unconsciously put others down in your need to have recognition
- try to do or own the right things that prove you deserve your position
- make decisions that show you belong in the position you are in
If you notice yourself in any of these situations, this may be because your limbic system craves Status.
Do I have a preference for Autonomy?
With a preference for Autonomy and to get a dopamine reward, it is likely that you will:
- enjoy creating new ideas
- enjoy working on your own
- want to use your own ideas and create your own plans
- feel uncomfortable with people telling you what to do
Does that sound familiar?
What if my sense of Autonomy is threatened?
The limbic system will indicate danger by using threat responses. When you experience a threat to your sense of Autonomy your limbic system will likely create an experience such as:
- feeling frustrated at having to align with others' ideas
- feeling annoyed when having to collaborate
- having low respect for authority and rules
The limbic system guides you to avoid danger by using threat responses, so to meet your need for Autonomy, your limbic system may encourage you to:
- fight against people who try to impose their way or their ideas on you
- isolate yourself
- be stubborn
If you notice yourself in any of these situations, this may be because your limbic system craves Autonomy.
Do I have a preference for Fairness?
With a preference for Fairness and to get a dopamine reward, it is likely that you will:
- feel good when a fair deal is struck between people
- try to ensure that everyone is treated fairly
- fight for justice or equality
Does that sound familiar?
What if my sense of Fairness is threatened?
Indications that you experience a threat to your sense of Fairness include:
- wanting to get back at perpetrators of inequality and injustice
- feeling angry about the injustices in the world
- finding yourself regularly complaining about injustices, small or large
- feeling righteous
- feeling like you want to "put someone in their place"
The limbic system guides you to avoid danger by using threat responses, so to meet your need for Fairness, your limbic system may encourage you to:
- fight for rights and continually try to solve problems of injustice (and potentially wear yourself out)
- get revenge against those who create injustice
- risk your own well-being for the sake of more fairness in the world
- "build a case" (convincing yourself this person is wrong or bad) against someone because of how they treat others, then try to do something about it
- interpret something as unfair without real evidence
If you notice yourself in any of these situations, this may be because your limbic system craves Fairness.
Do I have a preference for Expectations?
With a preference for Expectations and to get a dopamine reward, it's likely that you will:
- love to dream about what could be
- enjoy creating goals and plans, even if you do not follow through
- buy a lot of books or clothes that don't currently fit
- thinking, "yes, I can do that!"
Does that sound familiar?
What if my Expectations are threatened?
When you experience a threat to your Expectations you may feel:
- deep disappointment when something doesn't happen the way you expected
- frustration with outcomes of a project and blaming others for lack of performance, even though they did not know about your expectations
- continually disappointed about your lack of progress, e.g., not getting a promotion, and you don't know why
The limbic system guides you to avoid danger by using threat responses, so to meet your need for Expectations, your limbic system may encourage you to:
- believe something (perhaps passionately) that is not possible
- lash out at others because they didn't meet your expectations
- stop aiming high and only set low expectations so you can avoid future disappointment
If you notice yourself in any of these situations, this may be because your limbic system craves positive Expectations.
Do I have a preference for Certainty?
With a preference for certainty and to get a reward, it's likely that you will:
- enjoy creating specific and detailed plans
- enjoy details
- like to share your plans with others
- want to have structure and specific steps to follow
Does that sound familiar?
What could threaten my sense of Certainty?
You will experience a threat to your sense of Certainty when you:
- are destabilised when things don't go according to plan
- get confused, upset or stressed when there is a lack of certainty
The limbic system guides you to avoid danger by using threat responses, so to meet your need for Certainty, your limbic system may encourage you to:
- control other people
- micro-manage
- tell others what to do
If you notice yourself in any of these situations, this may be because your limbic system craves Certainty.
Things to keep in mind
As you have seen, the limbic system and your Be SAFE & Certain preferences play an important role in determining how you react to different situations. But there are some other factors to consider as you reflect on how they affect you and those around you.